Instead of typing another one of the countless papers I've gotten in the past few weeks...I just watched a tape of the Final TNN(The Nashville Network...old school I know) NASCAR Winston Cup race from 2000.

This, on top of the final episode of Third Watch that aired last week has got me thinking about endings and goodbyes and how much I hate them.

There seems to have been a lot of them lately... be it the final Friends episode from last year or the retirements of NASCAR legends Rusty Wallace and Mark Martin. You can't turn a corner without seeing someone saying goodbye or something ending.

It seems to almost always happen this time of year for some reason. Graduations are another sign of an ending. They say spring is the season of new life, yet it seems to me that it is the season of endings. The season where many hang up their hat and walk off into the sunset and I don't like it. I've never been a fan of endings or goodbyes. This is not to say I hate change. I understand change is nessacary sometimes, but many times it is either not needed or premature.

Some athletes and or actors retire young when they are still actively winning or doing good. They say they want to retire before they get bad. How excatly do you know when you get bad? If it were me and I were say a baseball player...I would not retire when I was 30 and hitting .333 a year. I would still be playing untill I couldn't stand.

I don't plan on quitting or making any early endings. I plan on annoying the shit out of everyone when i'm 145 and eating through a straw.

People say that you gotta move on and such...well...what excaly happens if you don't always move on...? No one has ever found out it seems. I'm not saying stay 22 forever or anyhting like that...I'm just saying...go against the norm when it comes to a goodbye...don't move away from your past unless your past will get you killed, arrested or sent to the Neverland ranch.

Graduations...that I get...you do have to move on with your education...you can't stay in high school forever.

Fuck endings and Fuck goodbyes.

If you want to try something new, fine, but neevr forget your past...there is always something good back there, you may have to look hard to find it, but it is there.

I miss Third Watch already.
I don't want to write this paper.
I want to talk to more people.

To all those people who said they'd help me when I needed help after I busted my ass for them and then were no where to be found....Fuck you.

To all those people who said they'd be there for me to talk too if I needed it after i'd be on the phone with them till 4am or hang out at any time in any weather with them helping them out and were once again no where to be found....Fuck you.

And to damn near everyone....Fuck You.