I haven't been sleeping well and this bothers me. I'm not sure why. I have what feels like a chicken or some kind of bone in my throat. Again. And it's on and off, this bothers me.

I still haven't picked a color for the room. I shoulnd't be putting this much effort if I plan to be out of her in 2-3 years, but I want those 2-3 years to be as comfortable as possible...hahaha, like that'll actually happen.

I should call Time Warner Cable and have them give an extnsion to the cord and give me a new cable box and remote seein as how mine hate me now, even though i've given them years of work.

I need a color ink cartrdige for my printer.

Banner people want me back. It's nice to actually be wanted for something good for a change.

Kirstie Alley scares me. Can't we float her out to sea already?

I just saw a commercial for old people fucking in a bed.

Vote Gifford Miller.

Serria Mist is not bad.

I'm hording batteries...and I don't know why. The anniversary of the blackout is coming up, that should be fun. If it happens again, it'd be nice to have both of my arms functioning and temps under 90.

Ok, so yea..I'm pissed. I'm very fucking pissed actually.

What exactly is the meaning of the word "friend"?

I've been pondering this a lot lately. To me a friend is someone who is always there for someone. Examples; A friend will pick up the phone at 4am when no one else will to quell your fears about traveling. A friend will walk around in any weather to help you deal with your girl or boy troubles. A friend will meet you at the train station and walk you home, despite it being 105 degrees or -5 dgrees. A friend will visit you at work when you're having a bad day. A friend will offer advice on what car to buy when asked, despite you not listening to it and buying a different car. A friend will help promote whatever band you're in this week, listening to demos even though they have to study for a test. A friend will lend you their phone so you can do whatever possible to save your realtionship. A friend will cancel all other plans in order to spend time with you after you came in from out of town and passed out somewhere else drunk leaving them hanging. A friend will look at all your writings and or drawings, and honestly tell you what they think of them. A friend will make an effort to get to know your family. A friend will cook for you whenever, wherever. A friend will visit you when you are sick, not caring if they too will get sick, or at the very least will call to see how you are feeling. A friend will give you opportunites to further yourself in life. A friend will call on your birthday and offer to take you out even though they don't have a job or money. A friend will ask how the family is and actually be willing to hear stories about them. A friend will offer to help move. A friend will be a tourguide to other out of town friends. A friend will be there, 24/7/365, becasue that is what FRIENDS are supposed to do.





I've done all of this. ALL OF IT.

So when I call someone or email someone and ask them, "Hey, want to hang out?", "Wanna chat?" I at the veeeery least expect some kinda response, not a voicemail, not to be answered at all or for weeks on end, not a no answer, not a "i'm tired." I don't think its much to ask to just talk or hang around, I really don't, but apparently some people do, despite the fact I would do anything for them. And to these people, I guess i'll just simply say, enjoy your life, thanks for using me, and Fuck You.

This Wednesday, July 13th 2005 marks a special day for the United States Of America. It marks our nations return to space. For the first time since the Space Shuttle Columbia was lost on Feb. 1st 2003, Americans will fly into the heavens on a craft built in the U.S.A., the Space Shuttle Discovery will carry a crew of seven astronuats, including commander Eileen Collins into space for a service mission to the International Space Station(I.S.S.).

"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." was one of the key points made in a speech by John F. Kennedy on September 12th, 1962. Well, we achieved that goal.

Now, faced with an uncertain future, Those words and those goals seem more distant then the nearest star, Proxima Centauri, which is 4.24 light years away.

Many people have a severely pessimistic view of our psace program. But think of this; Many of the products we now don't even give a second glance too probably wouldn't exsist in their present form without the innovations made by NASA crews. Your microwave, cell phone, computer, hell even some of your pillows and matteresses all owe themselves to NASA. If it wasn't for them, you might not even be reading this.

Those of you who use air travel, a lot of the safety innovations in modern day aircraft were made by the U.S. space program and it's subsidaries. Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Gruman, all these companies have major ties to NASA.

On January 27th, 1967, the crew of Apollo 1, Ed White, Virgil "Gus" Grissom, and Roger Chaffee perished in a fire during a simulated launch exerscise at Kennedy Space Center. Much of the launch tower where the tragedy occoured is gone now, but part of it remains, on one of the walls is a plaque.

The Plaque says "Ad Astra Per Aspera", translated, it means "A rough road leads to the stars."

It has been a rough road indeed, but if you've ever seen a shuttle launch, be it in person, or on televsison, you have to admit, it is indeed an awesome sight.

Personally, I get a chill and a bit watery eyed every time I see one. Rarely do I have more pride in my country then when I see American ingenuity roaring skyward on machines that are the most complex craft on the planet.

This is something that our country cannot simply turn a blind eye to. Are we that jaded that we can't stop for a bit and marvel at the extraordianry sacrifices these men and women are making for us? They have families just like us, they have a paycheck, just like us.

They're daring to dream and use their imagination which is something many people seem to have forgotten how to do. When that shuttle goes up wednesday afternoon at 3:51, will you realize this?

We can't forget about the hopes and aspiriations of these indviduals any longer. When President Bush made his speech on January 14th, 2004 about going to Mars, many people laughed it off. When Kennedy made his speech, many people cheered. Has our nation really lost it's imagination that much? Imagination is what got us to the moon in the first place. I for one applaud the notion of visiting other planets. Thats right, I'm proudly admitting the fact that going to Mars is a good idea.

For too long now, Americans, and people the world over have lagged behind in giving thought to this notion. Many people say that there is nothing out there to see. People laughed at Tom Cruise and at others who believe in extra-terrestrial life.

Well for those of you I have a quote from the famous astronomer Carl Sagan. "If it is just us, seems like an awful waste of space."

Think of that for a while. This a wonderful opportunity to explore, Another thing many people seem to have forgotten how to do. It's a chance to go on the ragged edge and see things that have never been seen, its a chance to open new horizions and expand our knowledge.

The crew of the Columbia, the Challenger, and the crew of Apollo 1, all of whom gave their lives for their country should not have passed away in vain. They want us to continue reaching for the sky. What they did is not heroic, it is legendary.

If this isn't enough to make you beleive, I want you to go find a secluded area, a dark field, a quiet spot on the beach away from everything, and look up at the sky one night. Look up and just wonder for a bit. Stare up and look how beautiful it is and wonder and hope and dream. Dream.

It's 4 am...do you know where my socks are?
I am cleaning at 4 am and it's hot in my room.
My room needs to be repainted, ideas?
I'm watching the Weather Channel, big surprise? There's a commercial on for Oreck vaccum cleaners.
I have a ladder in my room with a bungee cord and i'm thinking of seeing if i can hang from it and swing around the room on it and then go get some orange juice.
It's supposed to rain later today. Boo.
I should do some dishes too.
I'm probably goning to wind up cooking a whole lotta chicken for just myself on Saturday night unless I get someone or a few someones to come here. Open invite to anyone reading this. Though, those who do read this probably won't read it untill at least 2 weeks from now so the point is moot.
This commercial is still goin. No one informed me that a vaccum ad would ruin my watching of the weekly forecast for Nebraska.
For shame. Stupid vaccum. I find it unfair that the one on TV works and mine don't. This is one of the many reasons I can't see much of my floor anymore.