After The Dawning Of The Day

Where to begin? It feels like forever, but it also seems as though time has stood still. It's been Twenty years since America had 2,977 souls taken from us. Sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, friends, and lovers. Two decades.

It still in many aspects doesn't feel real. Maybe we don't want it to feel real. 

We were transformed that morning into a different nation. A more fearful one and as such, sadly more hostile. It was a sweetly serene cloudless morning that seemed to promise nothing but goodness. A world we still wish it could be. It offered an innocence we would never see again. We were jolted from a slumber to see the heart of darkness. While nothing, not even the march of time can bring back those who we lost on that morning without reason, let the fact we are here now serve as a welcome reminder that throughout our history, our darkest days have always been followed by our finest hours.

And yet, here we are, still asking not to judge others by the circumstances of their birth, or color of their skin, but by the depths of their character. We need to reclaim that resolve to be better that the days following that morning brought. It was a time, however brief, when we showcased the strength of ideals when made real. We showed that what unites can be stronger than what divides us. That we can be beaten only when we stop believing in what we wish we could be.  

We were tested and it brought out the best of us. We turned the fire of destruction into a light in the darkness. On that day, we saw total strangers protect us,  And now we ask that they protect us again, yet some don't see it that way. 

These individuals need to come to a realization that science, education, and humanity can all co-exist for the betterment of all. 

Many days It seems as though we can't even survive each other let alone whatever the planet is throwing at us this week. Mother nature is probably pulling her hair out somewhere right now, frustrated at whether or not to unleash another flood before or after this weeks inevitable mass shooting or Darwin endorsed viral challenge. 

We need to be better than this. I know we can be. Hell, we've proven we are. It's not about being a sheep, or following a herd, its not about mandatory this or enforcing that. It's about the continued existence of the human race. 

Twenty years ago, bureaucrats swore that the toxins that enveloped the city were harmless and not a danger. Scientists steadfastly stated that they were wrong, that it was dangerous and contained unknown amounts of toxicity. Since that day, more than 3,000 first responders alone have passed away. 

It's enough to make me want to put my fist through someone's skull sometimes. It's that damned infuriating sometimes. 

But this isn't about me. It's not about one person anymore. We're all in this together. We're a team, and its time we started contributing and helping everyone. The ignorance that got us into a lot of where we currently are and consistently repeating that mistake is not the answer. 

I don't like to come from a place of anger. It's not who I am. I believe in peace, I want love, and I don't care how cliché that sounds, because that is honestly how I feel. But this constant tug of war between two domineering sides of humanity just wears in the soul till that's what remains. We need to be united in a common goal again.

Today, going forward should not be about aggression or hostility. Today should be the first day of the rest of our lives. A rebirth. A day in which we look back at who we once we're and start looking forward of who we will become.

It has been 7300 days since September 11^th, 2001. They have built parks with beautiful monuments with names that slowly stop seeming like real people. They’ve named junior high schools and streets after people. But soon enough it will just be us. We will be the only ones that remember

Let's stop having these tragedies in order to remember people...if that all we can do to honor the ones we loved and lost is be the ones who remember, have we really honored their sacrifice? 

After Ascension

   Each year on this day I attempt to repeat the same schedule as I did 16 years prior, at least I try to. As the years pass, I have found life often alters the schedule. As a friend once said, "we plan and the universe laughs." Sometimes change like this can actually be for the better.

   That day is slowly beginning to fell like many years ago, and that actually scares me. The passage of time in general is quite sobering.

   The ruins of the chasm in lower Manhattan have been filled with the memories of a day forever frozen in memory. I, until this spring during a race, refused to set foot on that hallowed ground. "This is not my place", I thought, until the kindness of a friend imbued me with spirit and determination that made the open wound in my mind and soul begin to heal...just a bit.

   This is one of the many reasons why I run. It is healing, freeing, in a way, even though it can be at times tortuous, it lets the mind expand and breathe, giving birth to new ideas and thoughts, pushing the clutter aside.

   It seems as though we're sometime out of touch with ourselves and with others. And we need that to end. We need to learn how to make better use of what we have at our disposal.

   You may find that even what was a traumatic event, in many cases, becomes a learning experience. You grew and gained from it. Eventually, even, you might even become a better person from it. That is how we are supposed to grow as a species, as a culture.

   Yet, we're lately, we seem to be out of touch with ourselves and with others. And we need that to end. We need to learn how to make better use of what little time we have on this rock, what we have at our disposal, and utilize it to improve the world. We are not doing this right now.

   For example, Staten Island, while my home, no longer feels welcoming to me. A place I would once staunchly defend to no end has turned into a cesspool of bitterness and bigotry of which I fear there may not be a return from. This is something that was told to me by multiple people, all of whom I rebuked, until last year. We need to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Have we really progressed as a culture, as a species?" I don't think so. If this is the best we can do, i'm not impressed.

   In fact, in light of the recent weather events, some people are claiming the, "end times" have finally arrived. Me being a staunch atheist, just sees it as a continuance of the cycle of life, albeit not a good one.

   Yet through all this, I still have hope. I'm no longer the full blown optimist I was a child, though I look to the rest of my city, once ruined, and see that it has been reborn, and though some may argue otherwise, I think this is truly for the better. It's certainly beats the alternative. Being stuck is something i'm good at. I'm not happy about it, nor am I proud of it. It is, in fact something i'm attempting to rectify. But, unlike this city, it is not a change that can happen in an instant. You to can make positive change happen.

   Making my way through this darkness, I'm still searching for the bright light of my finest hour. It has been a titanic battle of wills, and many days I find it difficult to even get out of bed. But I do, and push through to the best of my abilities. Some days are better than others, and some days the only way I can get through it is by using the mindset of, "I know something out there is trying to beat me, and i'm gonna fight it just to piss it off."

   What was once an empty sky has once again been populated with glass and steel. Stone and wire. Men and women. People. Going about their lives. Everyone of them fighting a battle most of us will never know anything about. So when you interact with these people, or any person, take the briefest of moments and remember that. Be human. Show compassion.