One Of These Years I'm Going To Beat Him To The Check...

   I'm breaking out like a 15 year old right now because i'm stressed. Ironically maybe, stress comes easier now than it did when I was 15. When one is 15, the things we found to be, "stressful" often in the long run turned out to be nothing of the sort. Kind of frightens me for what the future holds.

   When I was 15 life was different, it almost seems a world away...I was still a kid...and everything was magical and the world held promise and hope. Then adulthood comes along and tries to beat it out of you, and it seems that, as of late, it has. This year has not been entirely kinda to me, nor has it been kind to others.

   But, I the eternal optimist, with the 15 year old still living inside me still has hope that the promise of a new better day awaits. After all, thats part of what this season is about, isn't it? Being a kid again? Why limit it to one day, month or season though? Its time to unlace the boots and run in the mud again. Its time to sit on a comfy couch and read comic books. Its time to cover your neighbors car in water on a cold day so it freezes over...alright...maybe not that last one. Unless you have a grouch of a neighbor...which I do. Its time to have a soda drinking...and then burping contest...We need to let our freak flag fly proudly again...

   ...If we don't, we might not get another chance. One thing i've learned this year is that ages old and sometimes irritatingly cliche` mantra of, "life is precious, live today like it could be your last."...I wish i applied that mindset for no practical reason, but sadly I had to.

   Christmas is not about religion for me, I am an atheist after all...but it is about togetherness in regards to the, "life is precious" thing. Spend time with those you like and love. Enjoy that time, enjoy those people, and don't be afraid to open up to them, to joke with them, or to be there for them...unless you happen to be pooping...privacy is important too ya know.

   Realize that some people might spend this holiday alone, and welcome them into your life. No one, and I mean no one should be alone on Christmas, "Home Alone" taught us why. Give an 8 year-old that much freedom and Joe Pesci gets burned, and Joe Pesci doesn't deserve to get burned...nor do the cookies I made, but, hey, ya win some, ya lose some.

   One thing I...you...anyone shouldn't lose is the ability to hope for a better tomorrow, a better year...whether its something as simple as downing a chocolate milkshake without getting an ice cream headache, or something as complex as getting a favorite tv show back on the air(yes, that one), you need to act on what you want. Make that your goal for the next year, not your resolution, because those are meant to be broken...make it your goal.

   Don't accept anything less then what you want(unless it means cracking a brick over someones head, thats considered a felony), or what you deserve. Instead of saying it, go out and do it, give you all, and if you fail, you at least gave 100% effort. Be the person 15 year old you wanted to be, be the person you want to be. Its Christmas dammit. Have some hope.

The 12 Labors Of Hercules

   The reason I chose that title above is for a multitude of reasons. One of which being the significance of the number 12. Another being my affinity for Greek mythology. Another still is becuase New York City, much like ancient Greece before it, can, in many aspects be considered the modern day pantheon of society.

   Yet, I believe our city, our time will endure far, far longer than that of ancient Greece. It already smells older than it.

   In fact, I beleive the fires that were stoked that day 12 years ago rage still this day. But they rage in a different way. They are the fires of hope, of a Phoenix rising above despair. My fellow New Yorkers may be scoffed at or even sometimes mocked because of our way of life, our candor, but without our city, this nation would not be what it is today. From the Bodega owner in the Riverdale section of the north Bronx to the family doctor in Tottenville, here on Staten Island, we have proven time and again to be a bastion of civility in light of the worst of humanity, and it was proven once again 11 months ago when our city was dealt another sucker punch by Hurricane Sandy.

  Thats why I marveled at the fact, five days ago, as I stood on a Rosebank shoreline with a friend of mine...staring out over the harbor at Manhattan....that we still in fact had a Rosebank shoreline.

   While i'm not arrogant enough to beleive that New York is a city strong enough to defeat mother nature, I do like to beleive that they can come to some agreement over a slice of Pizza at Denino's...or Nunzios...or Joe & Pats...or Lombardis...or Grmialdis...or...well, you get the picture.

   New York city is so ballsy its frustrated some of the great writers, such as E.B. White, who once said, " It is a miracle that New York works at all. The whole thing is implausible." 




   Yet, through that audacious, sometimes unabashed bravado, the true New Yorker, the true American shines through...even in the darkest of nights. 

   My cousin Joe, whom I considered a brother, and who passed away 4 months ago, was one of the truest personifications of a New Yorker I can imagine. He lived his life to the absolute fullest and somehow, someway managed to even wear both a Yankee and a Met hat and get people to smile through one of his endless, and I mean endless stories. If, eons from now, New York Cities history is be complied onto a Quadroceptotino-drive (yes, I made that up so don't bother Googling it.), you can be certain that my cousin will get a chapter of some sort. 

   It is that kind of person, that kind of individual that will always be the true face of New York. So while the 34 inch plasma screen may show you a De Blasio, or a Colbert, both excellent in their own right, i'll prefer to look at an old Kodakchrome of Joe Spinelli. 

  When I gazed out over the harbor at that skyline friday night, at that tower rising amongst the stone and glass of the city beneath it, I had that galvanizing "New York Minute" moment to myself where I realized that yeah,I, like the city will have hard times, but we will make it through those trying experiences, not because we have to, not because we want to, but becuase we simply "will." Our willpower is that strong. We really are, that damn stubborn.

   So to those who seek to belittle us, and snub us...those who don't really know us. I ask you to remember when we dug on our hands and knees with buckets searching for hope 12 years ago. We found it. We found a lot more then hope, we found something indescribably incandescent. Hell, we may be one of the only cities in the history of the world to get dealt a series of devastating blows, but instead of sinking in defeat, we defiantly stand up, dust ourselves off and push onward, ready to meet the next challenge.

   We're a city of of dreamers, and I know that I, like my cousin, my mother, and countless others dream of a city, hell, of a world where everyone, regardless of race, regardless of gender, regardless of religious preference, regardless of sexual preference, looked at each other, and gave that truly New York style handshake that turned into a hearty hug, because that is what it REALLY means to be a New Yorker.

   It means throwing out all of your intolerances, all your prejudices, becuase when you really, and i mean really need that bathroom at that deli, you aren't going to care what religion the owner is, so why should it bug ya any other time. And why should it matter if the person who gives you coffee is gay or straight? How does that impact your life? It doesn't. And thats what being a New Yorker is about...not sweating the small things. We have more important issues to deal with, like...when's Jeter's ankle gonna get better? or why the hell is that damn ferry late again? It's the third time this week.

   So I ask you, if you have time, listen to Billy Joel's(One of my late mothers favorites), "New York State Of Mind", and then remember this statement :

   Being a New Yorker is a privilege, one not taken lightly. And I, Like this city, ain't goin' no where..  

The Ectoplasmic Ionization Rate

     In a lil less then one week, on June 21st, i'll be 31...and thats more numbers then i care to use. You see, I like math about as much as I do wearing pants, which is to say I don't, but apparently, some people have made laws requiring their use.

     So, 31. And yet i still live at home and am still in the never ending process of getting a degree...apparently living up to that stereotype. I get to see firsthand our natures youth grow up...the aging of, "Generation Y" if you will...and man is that scary...seems like just yesterday some of these kids were turning 5, now they're sitting in a class next to me telling me how, "awesome" it is they can stay out till 4am and wake up in 5 minutes ready to tackle the day and how it will "always be that way." Well junior, I come to you from the future with a little thing i'd like to call reality. It won't always be that easy.

     I can't believe I've made it this far to tell ya the truth, I thought for sure a random oven explosion woulda killed me by this point, what with my penchant for random food creations...or perhaps i'd come across someone who didn't like one of my pictures beating me with a fish...which, I've always wanted to do to a few people...y'know, just to hear the sound it makes.

     I don't know what to make of it all to be honest. It's a bit surreal. Everyone says "you're supposed to be an adult", but all the "adults" I see are miserable, so whats the point? Plus, i'm pretty sure my Amazon.com wishlist exempts me from being an adult...

     I think you're supposed to have fun in life, but it seems a lot of people have forgot that. Yeah, I know...me, you, whoever...will undoubtedly face a lot of struggle and have a lot of bad days, you can't let them own you.

     Think about it. Would you rather see a picture of you looking like you just went to a funeral or a picture of you having lunch with Weird Al? We all know Weird Al is the man. And lunch is fun, because its not breakfast, which in my opinion is the most restrictive meal of the day. If you have a burger for breakfast people think your insane because burgers aren't classified as "breakfast food." That...in my mind kinda makes breakfast foodist. I think just went on a tangent and invented a term...go me.

     I do tend to ramble like a lunatic at times, but the doctors say thats alright as long as i eat my pudding....man I talk about food a lot....i'm a fat guy on the inside. It all works out since I run, and probably due in part to this running I have knees that hate me. Will  I stop? Nope. Why? Because that'd be admitting I let pain win and if you go down that road, its never a good thing. You just have to look at pain and tell it, "nope, not gonna happen."

     You need to stronger then pain....and yes, I know I sound like Sylvester Stallone there, but it turns out he was right on that one...and probably also right on, "The Expendables", which I still haven't seen...i'm waiting for a nice lovely lady to join me to see that...because any girl who is willing to sit and watch explosions and 2 hours of likely awful acting is a keeper.

     The single life, while it does have its benefits(all the LEGO I want and i can crap with the door open), it does kinda suck seeing all you happy people bitch about relationship problems or constantly ramble about your significant other while most of the time i sit or lay alone wishing I had someone. I'm happy for ya, all...well...most...ok...some of you, really I am, but you bet your ass i'm jealous, and for damn good reason.

     But still, throughout that all I don't want to let the world keep me down. I've been here almost 31 years and that means something, it means I've taken hit after hit and i'm still here. I'm still standing, just like my city, which has taken many more hits than me. We're that annoying 3 year old that doesn't shut the hell up in the movie theater.

     That I realized today when out for a drive. It takes drive and tenacity to survive, but it takes a special breed to survive in this city, and I've managed to do it with surprising efficiency. That, I think- is why some people dislike New Yorkers, because we're a reminder of the fact that there are tough people in the world. People who like to say, "no" to things, not question them, just say, "no" to them, we're that bombastic. But i'm gonna let you in on a secret, if you're reading this, and you aren't from here, you at least know a New Yorker, and that is enough to make you tough. I hereby imbue you with the toughness of a mother of 6 from the South Bronx. I give you the tenacity of a firefighter from Bed-Sty, the bullishness of a homeowner from South Beach...the REAL South Beach, not the crappy one from Florida, aka Americas Wang.

     I'm here for a reason, you're here for a reason, we all are...we're survivors...we're dreamers, we're supposed to be happy, and achieve our goals, whatever they may be, whether its making art out of paper clips or filming really weird porn, you have to push forward to make that dream happen...You need to learn to not be afraid, not let fear and pain grip you, that...is your mind giving up before your heart does.

     I've made it this far, and have every intention of going a lot further and so can you, all of you. You all have the ability, the drive and passion to be that photographer, to be that firefighter, to be that baker, to be that crash test dummy, or to be whatever it is you desire to be. You do have it in you, you just gotta look for it, you gotta dig like you're goin for the best booger ever. You'll find it, its there. Trust me.

     Be bold, be creative, be daring, just don't be boring...and if anyone tells you that you "can't" do something, work that much harder to prove them wrong, but more importantly, to prove to yourself that you CAN. Surround yourself with people that will lift you up, that will tell you to never give up, that will give you that extra kick in the ass when you need it.

     This is what I've learned in my 30 or so years on this planet. Oh, and don't cross the streams.

For Hope.

    I ran last night, not at all absent minded of anything else to do to, not because I wanted to avoid the media onslaught that comes during these tragic events, no, I ran because others could not.

    I ran because the cool air invigorated my lungs, my body - into a sense of drive, a sense of purpose to not let fear and cowardice rule my life. To not let the selfish acts of a few weigh me down, for I have done that far too long now.

    This however, is not about me, the sum of this all is far greater than any one person, it is about all of us. It is about standing up to intolerance, ignorance, and hatred. That’s what this needs to be about.

    Pointing angry, uninformed fingers at one another does not change what happened, it does not make the pain go away, it does not heal a wound.

    I know many of you are angry and many are confused, however, acting against an individual or group because of ignorant fears is just as cowardly an act as the one that sullied this day. We are all better then the sum of our fears, we are far greater, far stronger than fear ever will be.

    Many of you feel the need to act. Think before doing so. Give help and assistance to those in need, that is far more useful and much more resonating. Hug your family, hug your friends, maybe a little more tighter then normal, and be thankful you have the chance to do so.

    It is my wish that one thing that is remembered most about yesterday is the love and caring for one another. In the darkness of horror, the light and love of humanity was at its brightest.

    We will endure because we, as a species have hope, and that will always, always trump fear, because, simply put - hope is driven by good, and our capacity for good will always, always, outweigh all else.

    I ran last night because I am a runner. I will continue to run, not from fear, but for hope. Hope for a better tomorrow.

Apogee

   A Few weeks ago, as I aimed my camera toward a rapidly darkening sky, a white streak raced across the heavens. This streak was not some celestial body on its orbital commute across the sky. It was the International Space Station, traveling at 17,000mph, roughly 260 miles above the Earth.

   This marvel of human achievement is something that, sadly is often overlooked. This despite the fact that countless, and I do mean countless hours of blood, sweat and tears went into its construction. The fact that it the Space Shuttle Columbia paved the way for its construction should not be forgotten. Nor should the fact that on this very day, ten years ago, Columbia and her crew did not return safely to Earth.

   To many, they are just names. Rick D. Husband, William C. McCool, David M. Brown, Kalpana Chawla,  Michael P. Anderson, Laurel B. Clark and Ilan Ramon. But to many more, hopefully a great many, they are remembered as they should be, legendary heroes. Sure they may not have battled the forces of evil. They may not have fought crime or fires. But they did something that is just as, if not far more important.

   They were dreamers. They looked at the reality of a situation and said, "there's another way, a better way. A fun way." They didn't see problems, they say chances for improvement. The box we sometimes live in? They shattered it. They, and the many, many others who dare to dream, dare to hope for better, dare to give us the chance to make possible the impossible, make real the imaginary. 

   For the longest time, many people have accused me of "not thinking in reality.", of being a "dreamer" and for a brief while, I let those people convince me that "their way" was the "right way." Turns out they were wrong. I am a dreamer, and you know what? I love it. I'm better for it. I don't want to be confined to the box of normal everyday drudgery, I want to be in the box of six year old me...when the box was a space ship or a submarine.

   Dreams exist for reason. To let us know that as dreary as life can get, we always have the power to make it better. Be it a Kansas cornfield or the depths of the Atlantic, you should follow the dream...wherever it may take you. In the end, you will become a stronger person for it.

   Whether or not you believe in the space program, believe in this: A decade ago, seven people went took a journey outside of the grip of our atmosphere, into the cold unforgiving black just so that you, me, all of us could have a chance to make our lives better. Is this a sacrifice we really want to forget? Chase your dreams, for our dreams our the key to our happiness. 

   The dream of happiness is something we all have. And just like the journey these legends took, it is not one of ease, but then again, nothing worth having is easy. You have to fight for it, just like they did. 

There is a plaque at a launch complex on the grounds of Kennedy Space Center memorializing another group of Astronauts who made the ultimate sacrifice, and on it, is the inscription, "Ad Astra Per Aspera", which is Latin for "A Rough Road Leads To The Stars"

   So while the road may be rough, the stars along the way are more then worth the journey.