I just finished eating a recipe I got from “The Unsinkable Bathroom Reader.” for those of you who don’t know what that is, the Bathroom reader is a series of books, about as thick as a college textbook filled with random facts, stories and information, and as the title says, they’re meant to be read when on the can. I’ve gotten one every year, and many an entrant to my bathroom has found them enjoyable.

Anyway, the recipe was for “Bell Peppers in Creamy Sauce”, which was essentially melted marshmallows in hollowed out red peppers. Excellent right? Well, I tried them, and they were…well…not awful, but not as well as I hoped. Has the bathroom reader let me down? No, I’m sure my neighbors cats will manage to find them tasty, as they do most of what I give them(hence why they are fat.)

Those of you who read my rants and raves and musings in the past are probably scratching your head as to how I’ve managed to begin this with a story about cooking via the can. Wish I could give you a good answer but right now I’m gonna blame it on…hmmm….my lack of green socks.

I used to pound out at least 3 or 4 of these bloggy things a month, but for some reason, lately I’ve felt un-inspired, or maybe lazy, I’m not sure, but I’d like to make an attempt to connect with the masses more because I believe I am excellent, and you should all know about it. So what shall I address this time around?

Well, I know a “hot button”(where the hell did that term come from? I’ve never felt a, "hot button", nor do I know anyone who has, and I’ve touched many a button. I think from now on, I’m gonna call it a boiling potato issue, those I’ve touched, and eaten, and man are they deliciously excellent.) issue is this whole health care debate. While I do watch the news, and am a bit of a journalist myself, I frankly am still slightly confused as to why it’s such a big deal. Healthcare in this country is a mess, I will admit.

I’ve had my battles with healthcare companies over the past few years, and while they’re not as good as Letterman V. Palin, they’re tough. They shouldn’t be. You sick? Go to a doctor and the government will pay for it, plain and simple. I believe that’s how it’s done in Sweden and Norway. Seems to be working out for them, and last I checked those countries were pretty good, hell Sweden gave me my desk and TV unit. And I like those, so why aren’t we like Norway? I like the Adderall pen I got from my doctors office as much as I like any pen I’ve stolen….er…borrowed from anywhere, but I’d like to know I got it from them cause they liked the green color, not because Pfizer or whatever crazy sounding drug company paid em for it.

Every time I’ve turned on the news in the past few weeks, it’s the same thing, people screaming at some poor schmo standing behind a podium before they can say anything. Who even knows if they’re gonna talk about healthcare? Maybe they’re gonna say “hey, who wants free muffins?” but no, some nut job who had a too many Red Bull’s has to start acting like Lou Pinella. At least let these people talk before acting like a soccer mom in Wal-mart on black Friday(man, did I just sound like Larry The Cable Guy?).

Everyone says it’s the Republicans going against the Democrats or vice versa, and that’s where I get sick to my stomach, cause frankly, I’m tired of that crap. It shouldn’t be about that at all. This is why politics make me sick. We all should have got over this high school garbage ages ago. They’re all adult aged and yet they don’t act it. Sometime ago, someone asked me if I was Democrat or a Republican. I am NEITHER. I like the way come people do some things, and I like the way others do other things, that doesn’t make me anything other then a human, and that is how I want to be treated.

I’m tired of all this back and forth, it gets nothing done. Especially on this Island, where everything has to go through some kinda study. We’ve had more studies done on this island about transportation then little kids in michael jackson has had kids in it’s crotch(too soon?)Know what the studies say? We need more trains and mass transit. Same thing was probably said in another study 20 years ago and not much has changed.

I don’t need a bunch of scientists with clipboards and hard hats telling me there needs to be a train on the Island, just build the damn thing already. Go get it done, now. I don’t care if it’s labor day weekend, firefighters and doctors don’t stop cause it’s labor day weekend. Why should anyone else? Well...alright, get to work Monday at least, and I want it done no later then next Thursday dammit.

The Empire State Building was finished in 13 months, and that’s when there were only 5 channels on TV, and we had to walk 35 miles to get to the nearest Home Depot/Jamba Juice/Jc-Penny/Shop-Rite(give it time, they’ll all be in one spot sooner or later.)

Speaking of construction, my damn neighbor needs to build a driveway. 3 cars, and a front yard with enough land to build another Connecticut, but he can’t wrap his head around a few bags of quick-rete.

That, by the way is one cool invention. Maybe I’ll start making random ramps along major highways just to screw with old people. Then when I reach that age and wonder why the left turn I took somehow deposited me in Minneapolis I can blame it on, “those damn kids.” I’m gonna make an excellent curmudgeon some day. I should probably get a cane, since I already have the rocking chair. Man do I love that rocking chair.

Since I’m not presently at that age however, I won’t complain about everything. I do have good news. I have finally accepted the new Pepsi can design. I can safely look past the fact that the new logo looks an awful lot like a plumbers crack and enjoy my tasty beverage. Some people say its bad for you, but it has water in it, and water is healthy. You don’t hear anyone saying water is bad for you do you? Well maybe they do, but it’s usually that crazy guy in the pink leotard on a unicycle in Herald Square, and hes not so bad, once you get past the smell.

Cheese Doodles are also healthy. It’s true. Cheese is good for you, and it comes from a cow, which as we know is responsible for hamburgers, and seriously, who doesn’t love hamburgers? Anyone who doesn’t is just plain retarded with a capital bike helmet. Think about it, cheese is healthy, it’s in a food group, we give cheese slices to kids when they’re little so whats wrong with it in doodle form? Why is there a anti-doodle movement in this country? That’s racist. Racism gets you no where, ask that guy who played Kramer on Seinfeld. If you don’t like cheese doodles, you are no better then him. Did I just blow your mind or what?