Clinking The Mugs

Pretty much everything has gone wrong this year, this day especially. Whomever drew, in chalk "bad luck circles" in the north part of Union SQ. park put some actual negative karma into it, because since stepping in a few by mistake, the copy of a book I wanted to get my father was sold out at the 3 bookstores I went to, a pigeon landed in my food, my ferry was delayed, I was coughed on, my train was delayed, I got into 2 arguments with my father and cousin and the lights on our Xmas tree went out.

This christmas just feels like a wash, like...it came on suddenly, i've been caught behind every step of the way and theres no escaping how bad its been.

That's just since 2pm. I'm currently on my futon, where I've been sleeping for a few months - when I'm not sleeping on the couch because I just don't feel worthy of my bed, plus I'm afraid I sleep there, I'll never leave. Not like I'll die there, not that, but that it'll become a "depression nest" so to speak for me and I'll turn into my mother.

I dunno. I just want this year to end but there's no proof turning a calendar page does anything cosmically and then there's the whole 3 thing.