As I pulled into my driveway tonight, I got out of my car and looked up at the Staten Island Night sky. For the most part it was the same as it's been for the past week or two. Mostly Cloudy. There was something different this night however.

Its the same different that is actually familiar this night and tomorrow. Twin beams of light reaching skyward.

I can't fathom...cannot wrap my mind around the fact it's been a decade. That to me just seems cruel. That the world has gone by in such a blur.

I'm sorry to do this to you again, but I need to talk this out in some way otherwise I might lose it. I might do that anyway.

For some reason i'm being hit hard this time around and I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the overwhelming fear that people will think; "Well it's been a decade now, we don't have to give a damn anymore." And those people make me physically angry. You don't forget just because its convenient.

This happened, it was real, it had substance. Terrifying, painful friggin substance. And there are some moments where its just utterly unbearable.

I sat on the ferry today, on my way to work, and it all just started to slam me more so then ever before, and all I wanted to do was cry my eyes out. But I couldn't, not there. Then I got to work, and was reminded of it all. Day. Long. And I wanted to cry my eyes out. And now, I'm home, and I want to cry my eyes out. I have tears right there to the point my eyes are blurry.

It's not fucking fair. It's not. This never should have happened. Innocent, good people shouldn't suffer. Its not god damned fair.

No one should ever have to see a drawing made by a child that says "Daddy, please come home, we miss you." No one.

All I wanna do is cry my brains out right now, but that won't get me anywhere, it won't gain back whats been lost. So I do what I learned how to do best after that day. I push forward the best I can.

I remember a few hours after it happened, I went to the only store by my house that was open and got bottled water. I wanted to be ready for what was next, I wanted to fight it, whatever "it" was. I wanted to help. I wanted to show I won't take this lying down.

And now, ten years later, i'm still fighting. Why? Because I know there is hope in the world. Despite how horrible and awful things can be, there is always a better tomorrow on the horizon.

Recently I found out that very close friends of mine are expecting another child. These friends are some of the most kind-hearted, grounded people I know, and I had the great pleasure of, a few months back, being present at a small gathering at their home, where I saw their kids, and lemme tell you, these kids give me hope. They're not your typical smart mouthed bratty kids.

These kids are amazing, funny, intelligent and absolutely adorable and are raised by equally amazing, funny and intelligent parents. They all have a smile that is genuine and good. One that doesn't judge, one that doesn't hate, one that is simply put, beautiful.

When I think of these friends of mine, It gives me an extra hitch in my giddy up, it makes me want what they have, and what they have is what evil will never take away. They have a seemingly never ending capacity for good, and a hope that tomorrow, the sun will rise.

And its that hope, that strength, that they've instilled in me, and that i'd like to instill in anyone who reads this, that no matter what evils and tragedies you face, no matter how much the world beats you down, knocks you over and kicks you to the curb, you will always be given that chance to make it better, you'll always have a chance to bring it back, to show the dark there is light, there is hope.

There is always hope. It's a powerful thing, more powerful then anything else.

I just hope I can make it through tomorrow with dry eyes.