It would take a few years for the words to really sink in. Actually, I'm pretty sure they still haven't, despite the 3 brain surgeries, multitude of medications, and countless doctors appointments (if, "full time patient" were a career, id be a CEO by now.)
It's been difficult lately to organize my thoughts. Not because of the disease, but because this time of year has always been chaotic. "Did I get the right gift for person A?" What about person B?", followed by"what if I didn't get enough? What is person C already has it?", "I need to make sure I get enough flour for the cookies," and so many other thoughts. It's kind of a good thing. It keeps me busy and gives me a sense of normalcy and routine, of purpose.
Purpose is something I desire. I'm not sure if I'll ever get it, truly, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.
As the years since my diagnosis have picked up and almost literally flew by, I have been witness many changes in the world. Some have been good, others not so much. But one thing remains constant. That is the power of a good slice of pie.
Be it apple, key lime, cherry, or even pizza, pie brings people together. I believe a great slice of pie at the right time can solve the mysteries of the universe.
I have found that homemade apple pie is the highest of quality. You put your heart and soul into making it, and you can come up with something that will really get your mind cleared. It's not crazy, though it may sound that way.
There's just... something about the effort behind it. It's not a quick make. You have to go to the store, pick out and buy the perfect amount of apples. Then you have to go home, peel them, dice them, mix in your spices. Then comes the crust. I often find this to be the most difficult part. Though sometimes I get it right on the first try. That's when I know it's gonna be a good day. Evening just seems set. Everything is aligned.
Then there are the days with multiple tries and fails. The days where you constantly break the dough, or it's too thin, or the apples aren't sitting right, it's just something that didn't go right. That's usually a tough day. That's why apple pie is such a rare treat, you don't want to risk having too many bad or good days. Too many good days make the pain of the real bad days that much worse. At least that's how I see it.
I I'm will never pass up a good slice of homemade apple pie.
Next up is your diner cherry pie. Now I have some rules attached to this, no surprise.
I define a diner as a place that's open 24/7. Caveats can be made if they close at 10pm or later, but anything that closes at 6 and calls itself a diner should be avoided.
Secondly, the menu should have multiple pages, or if it's one sheet, it should have 4 columns, no less.
And among those columns, there should be at least 4 varieties of pie. Even though it won't matter, cause you'll be getting cherry. And it should be warmed.
Cherry pie is to me, the Pinnacle of diner food, followed maybe only by a good burger.
Cherry pie is the conversation starter. It's what keeps you at the table long past the main course. It keeps you engaged in thought. It's the last part of the meal, but the epiphany waiting at the end is worth it.
Next, we have Key Lime. Key Lime pie is the top rung of the ladder of pies. The elite. I know you expected me to say,"chocolate," but no no. Key Lime it's the most important of life pies.
First and foremost, you have to wait for the right season, usually summer. Summer is my favorite season. The days are long and full of promise. The heat warms you from the bitter cold days of winter, when the light fades at 4pm and the dark seems endless.
The Graham Cracker crust just thin enough to protect the filling. It reminds me of that transition from adolescence to adulthood. That blurry patch where you don't know if you should use your paycheck to buy that new book, or put it into your bank account.
The filling of a Key Lime pie should always be tart, but not overbearingly so. Just enough to make your tastebuds tingle. It tastes zingy and smooth. It's refreshing, just like that summer morning when you were a kid, where the day child hold any one of thousands of possibilities and the sun warmed your doors just enough to let you know that adventure lie ahead. That's what Key Lime pie is for me.
Is it a but much? Probably. But so am I. And for that I make no apologies.
Something else I've learned in these past 11 years is that, much like pie, in order to let life play out optimally, you have to be very precise and careful with how you approach it. If you give it up too quickly, you're not going to enjoy it as much. But if you stay and savor the moment, not only will your belly be full, but hopefully your life will be full.
To Hope.
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